So what’s your take on weddings?
For me, weddings are the sole reason the phrase, “I am never drinking again.” comes out of my mouth.
You can’t expect me to go to an establishment , where just so happens 2 people are exchanging nuptials, and say, “Open Bar”.
Open Bar? For Real? Sweet
You see, I seem to have a track record at weddings and taking advantage of said open bar.
Case Study #1- Open Bar for 1 hour Wedding
Test: See how any margaritas I can consume within that one hour.
Results: Dancing on the dance floor, while my skirt sneaked its way up(way too high)
Ending up in the bathroom for the rest of the wedding, puking in the sanitary napkin holder that is attached to the
bathroom wall.
Case Study #2- Mom’s Wedding Age 12.
Test: How many abandoned screwdrivers can I steal after people set them down?
Results: Throwing up ham and turkey pinwheels in the bathtub and sleeping on the bathroom floor. Crying, “Why meeeee?”
My punishment? My Mom said, my hangover was punishment enough. Oh, and I had to clean out the tub.
Case Study #3- My Own Wedding-
Test: How long can I keep the open bar open?
Results: After many many Bud Lights, I managed to extend the open bar the whole length of my wedding
Resulting in the majority of the photos of a white trash beautiful bride with a Bud Light bottle in her hand and a hefty bill to pay.
Case Study #4- Sister-In-Laws Wedding
Test: Can I still dance?
Results: Doing the “dip” for 2 hours = not being able to lower ones self onto the toilet for days.
I can neither confirm nor deny that a lap dance was given to an 80 year old man.
Total Study Results: I have no business going to weddings.
This recipe requires finely ground almonds. Most grocery stores don’t sell them. So just purchase slivered almonds and pulse them in your blender or food processor until they reach a sand-like texture.
YOu can also form these cookies into the traditional “Crescent Shape”.
| Italian Wedding Cookies |
- 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) Salted Butter
- 3/4 cup Powdered Sugar + 1/3 cup for rolling
- 1 1/2 cups finely ground Almonds
- 4 teaspoons Vanilla Extract
- 3 cups sifted Flour
- Preheat oven to 325
- In a medium bowl, cream together butter and 3/4 cup powdered sugar.
- Beat in ground almonds and vanilla extract.
- Gradually beat in flour until completely combined.
- Measure out about 2 1/2 teaspoons(using your tiny cookie scoop) or eyeball it, and roll into balls or shape into crescents.
- Place onto an un-greased cookie sheet and bake about 15 minutes.
- Do not allow to brown or they will become too crumbly.
- Allow to cool on cookie sheet for 2 minutes and transfer to wire rack.
- Cool for an additional 5 minutes and toss in the remaining 1/3 powdered sugar.
- Store in covered container at room temperature.
- Can be made several days in advance.
Makes about 6 dozen cookies.
This recipe requires finely ground almonds. Most grocery stores don’t sell them. So just purchase slivered almonds and pulse them in your blender or food processor until they reach a sand-like texture.
recipe slightly adapted from The Food Network
these little gems are addicting!
I love this cookies, really melts in mouth. Yum!
AWESOME WEDDING STORIES!!
I am right there with you, except we use the magic bag for cash bars… thank God for big purses 🙂
I was literally laughing out loud reading this. And the recipe looks great – I may incorporate these into my Christmas baking bonanza. Thanks!
You are too funny! Love the cookies 🙂
I just peed!! I love those little cookies – eating them, not making them.
Haha! Leslie I love your stories! And your cookies! : )
You have me laughing so hard…what cookies..
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Love those cookies, but I always use pecans. Now, I’m going to have to try almonds and see which ones are better.
And the drinking case studies—it’s stories like that that may be one of the reasons I’ve NEVER drank any alcohol. But they do make for some great case studies to read about. TFS 😉
I’m Italian and my and my future hubby’s families (he’s Italian too) take the cookie table very seriously. These cookies would fit right in 🙂
And your anectodes? The exact reason there will be no open bar, or even a cash bar, at my wedding, a couple bottles of wine at each table, that’s all. My family is full of alcoholics and I do not even want to know what they would do-it would make your antics look saintly, I’m sure 😛
This may be an unintended side effect of these stories, but I SOOO want to drink with you now. You sound like a very entertaining drinking buddy 🙂 If I ever see you at a blog conference, I may accost you and drag you to the hotel bar.
At an open bar wedding a few years ago, my sister and I decided to try and have a cocktail in every color of the rainbow. That night did not end well haha…
Anyway, these cookies look delicious!
Leslie I love Italian Wedding Cookies. Your photos are beautiful and so is the little cake stand.
hahahahaha, omg you have some stories! Cookies look delish.
i love weddings and wedding cookies. ah, the stories i could tell–thanks for sharing some of yours. 🙂
haha! love the stories!
these are gorgeous cookies, perfect for many occasions!
Listen… the next wedding you attend, I’m coming with. We’ll share the drinks and both go home in good shape.
LOVELY COOKIES!!
My mom makes something similar to these every year around Christmas. They are soooo good!
So funny! I only make these at Xmas time but not sure why. I am ok at weddings but are like you at high school reunion parties but it only happens every five years…lol.
Hells Bells, I wanna go to a wedding with you! You sound like my freaking soul mate!