Is it possible to get into a blog fight? If so, I think I may have just been in one!! And I got knocked out!!
Anyone who KNOWS me, knows I dont fight, I dont argue and I dont hurt peoples feelings!
Here is the Introduction:
I was replying to a comment on my blog. I went to this persons site( there are multiple members on the particular “family” site) and saw my meatloaf recipe but didint see the usual credit that everyone gives where credit is due in the blogging world.
I will say the person whom I actually left the comment for was nice, it was the other members of her blog that were very hateful and hurtful.
I am NEVER going to disclose the name of the blog because unlike other folks..I am NOT MEAN AND HURTFUL!
But please read everything!
Please tell me if I was way off base. AND BE HONEST..just not mean!
Was I mean?
Did I deserve the ATTACKS?
I made sure I copied and pasted the conversation as it happened in WORD(for accuracy)I though this whole situation would make for a good read!!
Have 5 minutes? Take a seat, keep you hands inside the ride at all times, your in for a bumpy ride!!
Me:
“I am sorry that you didnt like my meatloaf. I sure looks pretty. If you dont mind..and goodness I dont mean this to sound rude at all..I mean it in the most nicest voice..but typing doesnt always come across nice..I would have soooo loved for you to put a link to my site or say that you got the recipe off my site..hey even if it was nasty..its always cool to give props where props are due! Again..PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont take what I said badly. That meatloaf was a result of many trial and error loafs and to get credit for it would be awesome!On another note…I havent seen The Real Housewifes of Orange County yet. But I did google her photo..she is very dolled up in all the photos. I am lucky to put lipstick on in the mornings!!LOLI am glad that you enjoy my blog and that you left a comment on my Weight Watcher Wednesday Post. I blame my good photos on my camera and my new fancy Lowel Ego light. Before I started my blog I used a Point and Shoot digital camera and missed 99% of the photos of my kids because the camera was soooo slow and they photos were soooo blurry! Sorry again if I came off rude.:)
Anonymous Person #1“
“
Leslie- If I knew how to link to your blog, I would have. I haven’t figured out all the ins and outs of this thing yet. So sorry if I offended you by using your recipe without giving credit. What’s funny is that my cousin, ****, emailed me and said that was her mom’s recipe-exactly. Funny how that happens. If anyone else wants to check out Leslie’s blog- its definitely worth it- its:thehungryhousewife.blogspot.com
Anonymous Person #1:
“Oh yeah, and the meatloaf wasn’t “nasty”- it was totally edible. I think anyone that likes meatloaf will really enjoy this recipe
Me:
“Oh it is soooooo no biggie! That is weird that **** mom makes the exact meatloaf..down to the amounts???Wow that is crazy since it took me 12 years of marriage and my husband loving meatloaf to come up with it!LOLAnd see, I didnt want you to think that you offended me, because you didnt. It took me a while to figure out how to put a link into my posts. Here is how ya do it..example..say you wanted to put a link for Amazon in your post. You would type the word Amazon, them go to Amazon.com(in a differnt window), right click and copy the address from the address bar. Then go back to your post, highlight the word Amazon, click on the world looking thing w/ the paper clippy thing ontop, then paste the address you copied. and bam you should have a link in your post! Did I make any sense??Let me know if it works for you.I did read Rose’s post obviously directed at me..again no biggie, I’m a big girl! LOLBut I suppose it is in the “Unwritten Blogger Code of Ethics” to credit your source of where you saw the recipe..it only take 2 seconds. I never go to the ancient history books to see where a recipe was first originated from I just always site from where I actually saw it from. And so do the majority of food bloggers out there. It certainly didnt upset me..but I do know of some bloggers out there that the whole situation would really get their panties in a bunch!’
Anonymous Person #2(another member)
“Leslie, sweetheart, it really is no big deal that about a million people already make what it took you 12 years to figure out. Like I said this is a family blog. We aren’t saving the world or anything like that. If it would make you feel better we can take your meatloaf recipe down and put up mom’s. Ok?”
Anonymous Person #3(yet another member)
“Leslie,Go put some more makeup on and get off of this blog. I would advise you to cut back on the bleach. It apparently has done something to your manners.Go private. How did this Bimbo get on here anyway?”
Me:
“Goodness me..I hate the computer..things always come out wrong. No please dont take the recipe down. It truly doesnt bother me. I think it is wonderful that you guys have a great family blog with sharing of recipes.I just know there are some really uptight folks out there that actually will threaten legal action if your post something of “theirs” without even asking permission.ANd they actually have some sort of program that tracks if people copy things off thier blogs. I know it is crazy. My reason for the first comment was just to bring that to ***** attention. I meant no harm nor did I mean up upset anyone. I am not the type of person to stir things up, and I am sorry that I did. I just assumed folks knew to credit the source, that is all. And it feels nice when people give you props. I am sure anyone would be happy to see something they had made, posted somewhere with their name next to it. That someone actually thought it looked good enough to try it themselves. Kinda makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside..and that you did a good job!”
Me:”
Why in the world would you attack me like that? You do not know me. I didnt say anything nasty about anyone. And again I didnt mean to upset anyone. That was really uncalled for. I thought I was very nice in everything I wrote. Never ONCE did I ever say anything mean.I could say something about your manners..but I dont know you. So that is not my place.And by the way..I wear mascara and lipgloss…thats too much makeup?? Wow.You sure know how to hurt a persons feelings”
Anonymous Person #3(another member)
“WOW – where have I been and who is Leslie? I must have missed the invitation to bitches! Granted, I am one myself from time to time, but I am family and am therefore allowed! Back off lady!!And girls, keep stealing and pasting recipes – who gives a ****!
Anonymous Person #3
Former fat girls are always much nicer when they are fat!Is there anyway to block this ffg from this blog?
Anonymous Person #1(the nice one)
“y’all are all way more upset about this than i am. no need to be ugly.
Me:
“Thanks ****!Again I am sorry..I will be deleting my comments.
Anonymous Person #3
“Peace out skank’
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Ok..that’s the end of the Leslie Bashing! Close your mouths now!
Was I way off base???? Did I sound mean??
I though I was very apologetic that I might have offended anyone!
My blood pressure is a bit elevated right now. I cant believe people can be so mean and say hurtful things to someone who they know nothing about. Oh well I suppose my parents raised me well and taught me morals. And if I dont have anything nice to say..dont say anything at all!
I do know one thing, I wouldn’t want to be in THAT family.
P.S..Too much makeup??? Are you serious? Like I said mascara and lipstick…I suppose all BIMBOS wear mascara and lipgloss!!!
Wow, I don’t know you but your posts were very nice and not antagonistic. You did not deserve that response. Some people don’t have class and you can’t change that. You did nothing wrong, they should absolutely give credit for the recipe and you were actually too kind to them. I wouldn’t give them another thought!!! Don’t stoop to their level. P.S. – You don’t wear too much makeup, they’re just miserable slobs.
Thanks Catherine..I too thought I was too nice for all the bashing I got. I suppose I was also taught to take the higher road!!
The sad thing about the internet is that it gives mean people the anonymity they need to say mean things because there’s no repercussions. Wow, I can’t believe what some people will type, when there’s no way they’d have the guts to say things like that in person. Of course, they are totally off-base, everyone should give credit for anything they take from anyone else in any medium, and it is so totally rude! Just don’t let it get to you or cramp your style! Easier said than done, but you’re great, keep it up!
The personal attacks against you were way out of line. If they don’t want non-family posting in “their” blog, they should not have a public blog. Simple as that.
OK, you are one of the nicest bloggers ever and your comment contained nothing wrong. I thought all food bloggers were nice, but these people except for #1 just proved me wrong. Keep your chin up!
Wow, they certainly went overboard there. Its like they knew they did something wrong & instead of just saying oops sorry they just attacked you instead. I'm sure you are mad about it right now but don't let people like that get you down, most food bloggers are really nice.
Hi. I just read your blog. Well, the fact that they posted your recipe, without your permission should be a warning sign that they won’t be easy people to deal with. And be glad you’ve said your piece. At least now they know, people are watching. Tc.
I can see how you went into this, and why it was not appealing to these people. First, let me say that I could not agree more that a work by someone should be credited when displayed elsewhere. So no issue there. And second, I believe totally that you wanted to present yourself as a nice person and make sure that they understood that about you while you were delivering the confrontational message (which was, ‘please credit my entry and link to it’ more or less, yes?) – that you’d hate to have them perceive this as an affront or act of unfriendliness.
I think part and parcel of the problem is just that, that whole second thing. It resulted in a feel of passive-aggressiveness and insecurity. As countless girls learn in grade school and high school, some people prey hard on this. You were too wordy, too exclamatory (the image I had of you was of an uber-grinning cheerleader, issuing with false warmth and humor a veiled accusation to another girl that she had stolen your gloves), and not professional enough.
For the record and the sake of clarity, I don’t for a second believe that the warmth you clearly have is false. In fact, I think it is important to you that people understand this truth about you. What I am saying is that your message in this case evidently came across as passive-aggressive, probably because you really hammered in that niceness, and probably because of the wordiness and super cheery tone in which you did so.
This would have been a great opportunity to be straight up professional. By this I do not mean cold. I mean simple, direct, easy going and neutral in tone and language. There is nothing inherently unfriendly about this approach, and it engenders respect. And, importantly, it results in an in-kind reply, rather than the grade school style meanie sort of bullshit they slung your way.
I’m in your corner, Leslie. I wish you the best.
Leslie, pay absolutely no attention to all the hoopla. The truth is that they have no power over you and life is richer when we reach towards the good.
Regardless of how anyone treats you, you are a nice and decent person. You can’t help it;)
Let karma do it’s thing, for them, for you. Keep sharing your great personality and your recipes (even if it takes you 12 freakin’ years to develop (joking here of course!))
I’ve had interactions with people who were just so negative and learned that in this weird web world I can’t take personally anything said to me or about me. And really, the only people who matter are your friends and family. Go for a run tomorrow morning and decide what you’re going to cook for us next 🙂
It’s like the stupid criminals. They steal, leave a message on your blog and post it without credit. They are lame and you were not rude at all! They are just way out of line.
I’m really shocked by the reaction of the other members. Seems like you stumbled upon a group of “Mean Girls.” I don’t think I’ve seen anything like that since I was in high school. Lordy, even if after the original commenter told everyone it was no big deal, they kept going with it.
Sorry for the bashing you got. Unfortunately, it can happen to any of us who open ourselves up online. Some people feel like they can say what they want because it isn’t “the real world.” Just try to ignore it (I know that’s hard, I can be so sensitive to things like that) and continue doing your thing.
I just stumbled upon your blog, right in the middle of all this. Whoa, poor you. All that rudeness was otally unnecessary.
I’m always terrified that my comments will be misunderstood so I use an embarassing amount of smiley faces. Uhm, hope this works out 🙂
ARE YOU SERIOUS? Some people have NO CLASS.
As I read this I thought… really, my little sister….. If ONLY you knew her. Now she may play a SKANK on TV (LOL) or at the occasional Halloween party, but in real life she is nothing but an amazing mom and sister that has NATURAL beauty both inside AND out.
I will not stoop low enough to post on their blog but I know they are checking yours. So when they read this comment:
Don’t be jealous because she is pretty, smart, talented and funny because that is the ONLY reason I have come to realize that people such as you act in this CHILDISH manner… You took her good intentions to be attacking and your replies were WAY off base and completely unnecessary. You are the Bully that the world DESPISES! Oh yea and don’t mess with my sister cause I would go to war for her!
Leslie dear, everybody that reads your blog and comments here knows how truly nice and educated you are. Anybody that reads blogs knows that you should give credit to original recipes, but I think the girl the originaly published your recipe didn’t know how to do it. Still she could have just mentioned your blog name, anyway you were nice talking about it and even took the time to explain her how to link. I didn’t think you were pushy or anything. If the blog was only written by the first girl that would have been fine and would have probably ended there, but hey guess manners don’t grow on trees…
The nastiness towards you was really out of tone. Anyway don’t give them much importance, it will make them fell better. People…
hi my dear leslie, i never met you in person (yet :-)but you are a beautiful person inside and out. i understand exactly how you feel. its possible to offend people but being mean and nasty (giving names and stuffs like that) is awful. we cannot just attack people like that no matter how angry or offended we are. don’t worry there are so many people who love you and admire you dear 🙂 that includes me..dont worry if you need a back up for a fight i’m here for you hehehehe but i’ll rest on the back im too small hahahaha
I think that in the blog world, like in the “real world” there are great people and there are not-so-great people. Sometimes we misinterpet the things others say and sometimes we take them too seriously.
Don’t spend any more of your energy worrying about these rude, thoughtless comments! Just concentrate on what really matters – making us some delicious meat loaf recipes!! :o)
WOW! All I can say is “it takes all types”. Personally I prefer your type…non-confrontational and friendly. I’ve been visiting your blog for a couple months now and I enjoy it. Your pictures are great, I even like your “dorky” videos ( I think you called them dorky). You come across as a “real” chick. I think you handled the situation with grace…sorry you had to deal with the dark side of the internet…
All I can say is WOW! I have always been scared that some one do this to me in the blogging world (the being really mean part). Im so sorry that this happened to you. But you have to just forget it, I have a friend who people started a message board just to bash her and it eats her up because she can’t forget it. So please delete their comment from you blog and never think of it again.
ok to the scumbags who obviosly have no idea who & what they are talking about!! Get over yourself ~ she is way more than you will ever be and when it comes to skank ~ do you know what that means?? I promise you it's not Leslie. And to the nice girl who originally posted ~ "it sucks that you can't pick your family doesn't it?" So next time you want to argue with someone & be nasty hateful & hurtful ~ give me a call!! I'll be there!!! Leslie's friend… Bobbi
WOW!!!! Honestly I don’t even know what to say to that. I feel sorry for the nice person in that group because the actions of the other members were totally uncalled for. I think you comments were very nice and even when you could have fought back you didn’t. Congratulations for taking the high road!
Leslie, Leslie, Leslie:
Something is seriously wrong with that group. Please don’t take it personally. You were as nice as you could be, even returning nice for mean. It takes a truly gracious and secure person to continue beind kind in the face of slander. I’m more impressed with you today than I ever have been. Not only are you gorgeous, funny, and a great cook, you are also one of those rare people that can be nice amid adversity. Congratulations-you just earned yourself a life long admirer.
Leslie, you probably need to back out of that blog and drive on–do not look back. Seems like some of those relatives need to be on Jerry Springer–they’ve seen too much trash tv and that’s how they live. You don’t need any of that. You will never convince them that doing the right thing is the right thing. They will have to have the last word and it will be crude. Just smile and back away.It’s not worth the trouble. You’ve done nothing but what an ordinary person would do. You are not dealing with ordinary. Jancd
Oh my goodness. I know how you must have felt. I just started my site about a month or so ago, and I received a nasty comment where someone TOTALLY misunderstood one of my posts and took it like I was making a racial slur, and that thought seriously never entered my mind. It shook me up a little. . . especially because I just would never do something like that.
But then I remembered something an old friend told me once – “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one.” And I left it at that as it was just their “opinion” and they were allowed and I let it go. But I do remember how badly I felt.
I think this family (not the nice one) totally over-reacted. There was no need for them to reduce themselves to that kind of behavior whatsoever.
Les – you're a sweetie thru & thru. This stuff happens everywhere online. Don't let it get to you; you have a great friends here that love and know you. Let this roll off your back.
And you don't wear too much makeup, you're gorgeous and they are most likely just jealous.
Wow, how horrible must it be to be the Mom of those bloggers.
Leslie,
So sorry this happened to you! It’s kind of shocking when you see how rude people can be, huh? I suppose in the future, maybe it’d be good to email someone if it could be taken as confrontational instead of posting a comment. Not that you were confrontational , but you know how things typed can be misconstrued. Like Dee says, I always use a gratuitous amount of :)! 🙂
WOW! That is crazy!! It is SO sad to think that people would be that way. I am SO sorry that this happened to you girl! You are such a sweetie and didn’t deserve that!
Leslie, this is why I moderate comments – did you know that per post, I have to reject about 10 or so (no less than 10!!!) comments from “anonymous”?? The comments are cruel, insensitive, and ridiculous. I’m so sorry that this is now happening to you too :0(
Leslie,
Just keep in mind you are a doll and such a sweet lady. Makeup or no makeup!
I’ve got some nasty emails from people who make rude comments about the things I post in that I am killing my children with such food! Yes, cake is such a killer as well as potatoes. Who knew? All you can do is laugh it off. Just chalk it up to the fact she didn’t take the time to talk rationally. You were more than polite.
Lacking manners? Hardly. You held yourself up in the conversation with class.
Maybe for future family recipes, just state that they are available upon request and give them out to trusted friends. That may save on people stealing and claiming them as “mom’s”. Just a thought.
Hang in there Leslie!
Hi Leslie,
It's called jealousy. Those girls who stole your recipe are #1 too lame to give credit where credit is due and #2 completely jealous with how beautiful you are. Women can be so lame, but you handled this situation beautifully. Good for you. I think I would have been a real %*&*($$) back to them! What nerve they have to say those things. They probably have a crappy blog.
ew. who says all of that. haha.
leslie, you're awesome.
you came across as kind and polite, and were only giving those bloggers helpful tips!
the comments were rude && mean!
but no worries, your no skank && you're gorgeous with just your mascara and lipgloss anyway!!!
That is insane! I thought you sounded direct and to the point, but NOT by any way, shape or form “mean”. You are absolutely right about giving credit. Shame on them! One word, Leslie: COPYSCAPE!
Holy cow Leslie! What a nightmare. You are such a nice person and you didn’t at all deserve any of that crap-o-la. Nice family.
WOW – See what happens when you actually work for a couple days – miss things.. I am so sorry that you are going thru this. You are always so kind and considerate and have great blog ettiquete. You are the one with the class – we all know that.
HOLY COW, who are these people?! I have so much to say I don’t even know where to start! Seriously, I am not saying this because I am your internet ‘friend’, I say this completely objectively judging solely on what I have just read.
I have rarely seen such a lack of grace {obviously they don’t care about being respectable human beings as their words and attitudes indicate. Further proved as Anonymous #3 thinks cutting and pasting recipes is no biggie -PS Anon#3 -LOT’S of people give a ****. We work hard at creating and perfecting our recipes and WE deserve the credit. We don’t do it so people hi-jack them for their own gain. It is called integrity and being a decent human being}
They really showed their true colors with their language and personal attacks, of which were not only NOT deserved but none of their business and had nothing to do with the subject being discussed. Oh the time they must have on their hands to meddle in things that don’t concern them! And I am just always so proud of those who can’t stand by their opinions by attaching a NAME or better yet a profile to it. You are so, so big to dump your crap of an opinion and label it ‘anonymous’.
Many people feel backed into a corner and react this way when they feel attacked. However, they weren’t attacked! And the person you questioned wasn’t even being attacked. In a situation like this, something does need to be said, and your are 100 million percent right that most other people would not have been so nicely or given so much benefit of the doubt. You could NOT have been nicer.
I wouldn’t be angry, I would pity these people who made such a MESS out of NOTHING! I do. It goes without saying that the petty and immature things they said and level they brought it to indicate what pathetic, drama filled lives they must lead.
This SAME thing happened to my sister and her blog about frugal living about a month ago. When she confronted the person and the lady did nothing she said something again, so carefully, and the lady ended up being so furious that she shut her whole blog down! Most people have a long way to go on receiving and internalizing constructive criticism.
Sorry for all of your drama leslie, you are a great blogger and you didn’t deserve to be treated like this. I know it is easier said than done, but this says more about them than it ever said about you.
Jancd..
Jerry Springer..LOL…you hit the nail on the head!
read the history of the "blog fight", and i don't think you got the appropriate reaction from 2 & 3… just forget about them, you're way too nice to deserve that… btw, hubby even said that you're quite beautiful… 🙂
You were too nice to these people, too many apologies.
Why bother with them?
They are jealous that you are an attractive woman, that’s obvious, and change your blog settings to either REJECT anonymous comments, or be able to DELETE them, based on blogger approval.
Too much drama over nothing.
And to call people names via an anonymous comment is cowardly.
Gosh Leslie, I'm so annoyed for you. I can't stand people who are just mean to be mean. They (annonymous 2 & 3) sound like miserable people. Miserable people act miserably to others. You are sweet and beautiful and a great cook and blogger. You've got it going on and apparently they don't.
Sorry you had to waste your time on this. You did the right thing! : )
Leslie, I read this dialog and I’m speechless… I couldn’t even have imagined such rudeness possible. You haven’t deserved it.
Some people are a bit nuts. I’d be so embarrassed if some member of my family said anything like that to my readers. Don’t take it personally… they’re obviously whacked.
Danna in Va….
Crazy huh? Thanks for your support
Leslie, U were the sweetest. Don't be upset 🙂 you're the greatest cook & u deserve to get credit for it. you know when people get into trouble & to save themselves they sound all aggressive & mean! I think that's what they did because they are ashamed of themselves.
Crikey I’ve only been away a fortnight and missed a whole load of dramz!! I just read it quickly (internet cafe is dear!)but that was WAY harsh!!!! Chin up hun, don’t pay em any attention xxxx
I have customers like them far too often. I feel badly for the nice one to be in a family that is so full of nastiness. We should all adopt her away from them. You seem very lovely inside and out. I once commented on DB for people to quit bitching. I got attacked and decided it was not worth dealing with childish/adults. Take a breath, let go, and know that you live in a better reality. Be blessed.
Hello Leslie,
I am also a member of the Daring Baker’s Challenge (a new member) and thought I would check out your blog. I cannot believe how rude some people can be. You came across very dignified in your response to not lowering yourself to their level and I respect you for that. Too much make up? No way. As an artist, I can tell you, you apply your make up brilliantly and people who comment are probably just envious. I cannot stand rudeness and disrespect, whatever the situation.